6 Sneaky Divorce Tactics You Need to Watch Out For
Divorce has a way of turning even the most rational people into strategists - sometimes ruthless ones. When emotions, finances, and futures are at stake, it’s not unusual for one party to play games, twist facts, or manipulate the system. We’ve seen it all: the hidden assets, the sudden personality changes, the “convenient” forgetting of financial details. These aren’t just bad manners - they’re calculated tactics, and if you’re not prepared, they can blindside you.
Below, we’re unpacking some of the most common (and quietly vicious) sneaky divorce tactics people use - especially in contentious, high-stakes cases. If you're navigating separation, knowing what to look for might save you more than just stress.
Hiding Assets (and Making It Look Legal)
Possibly the most classic move in a high-conflict divorce. One spouse - often the higher earner or the one with more financial control - starts "moving" money around: setting up new bank accounts, transferring shares to a relative, delaying bonuses, or conveniently forgetting about that crypto wallet. All of it designed to reduce the marital pot when it's time to divide.
There’s a thin line between disorganisation and deceit. But if you suspect something’s off - statements missing, transactions that don’t add up - trust your instincts. The courts don’t look kindly on this sort of thing, but you’ll need solid evidence (and possibly forensic accounting) to prove it.
Weaponising the Children
It’s brutal, but it happens more than most would like to believe. One parent subtly (or not so subtly) manipulates the children - planting narratives, limiting contact, exaggerating emotional harm - to gain leverage in custody arrangements. This tactic is especially devastating because it weaponises trust and affection, turning what should be a protective process into a battlefield.
Judges take a dim view of parental alienation, but proving it can be difficult. If you're seeing signs - sudden withdrawal, echoing phrases that sound rehearsed - it’s worth keeping a detailed record and seeking legal guidance immediately.
Deliberate Delays (Because Time Can Be a Weapon)
Dragging their feet on paperwork. Missing deadlines. Asking for extensions. Suddenly becoming unavailable for mediation. Some people try to wear you down - not with drama, but with silence and slow progress. It’s a passive tactic, but it can be just as damaging as outright aggression, especially if you're dependent on temporary maintenance or access to marital funds.
In these situations, persistence and good legal support make all the difference. Timelines can be enforced - but only if someone’s watching the clock and holding them accountable. Working with experienced divorce solicitors in Mayfair like us can stop the delay tactic in its tracks.
Misrepresenting Income or Expenses
It’s not just about hiding money; sometimes it's about reshaping the narrative altogether. Your ex might suddenly claim their business is “struggling,” or that their monthly outgoings have skyrocketed. It’s all an attempt to minimise spousal support, or avoid contributing fairly to shared obligations.
This one can be hard to spot if you’re not financially enmeshed. But look for patterns - have they been spending freely, only to start pleading poverty once proceedings begin? Are business earnings suddenly "inconsistent" after years of stability? Again, it’s not paranoia if it’s happening. Documentation is your best friend.
Rushing to Finalise Before You're Ready
Ironically, some people go in the opposite direction - they try to push the divorce through too quickly. The goal? Get you to sign off on a settlement before you've had time to review everything or gather what you need. This might be dressed up as wanting “peace” or “closure,” but it’s often about securing terms in their favour before you realise what you're giving up.
If you’re feeling pressure to agree to something - especially from the person you’re divorcing - that’s a red flag. Pause. Reassess. And ideally, avoid sneaky divorce tactics altogether by bringing in legal support early.
Using DIY Divorce to Control the Process
DIY divorces sound appealing: they’re cheaper, faster, and more "friendly." But when one party knows the system better - or worse, deliberately exploits the other’s lack of understanding - it can create an uneven playing field. We've seen people offer pre-written agreements that strip rights away subtly, slipping in clauses about future assets or pensions that could cost the unsuspecting spouse thousands.
We're not saying all DIY approaches are flawed, but if your ex is encouraging it enthusiastically - and you’re unsure why - it’s worth digging deeper. A simple conversation with a solicitor might expose terms that are not in your interest (and that you’re under no obligation to accept).
Final Thoughts
Divorce is complicated. People act out of fear, hurt, or sheer self-interest - sometimes all three. And while not every tactic is malicious, many are strategic, and they rely on the hope that you won’t notice until it’s too late.
But here’s the thing: you can notice. You can get ahead of it. Understanding the most common sneaky divorce tactics gives you a layer of defence - and ideally, enough confidence to respond rather than react.
Whether you're still weighing your options or knee-deep in proceedings, working with experienced divorce solicitors can give you the clarity and leverage you need to protect your rights - and your future.
We’ll always advocate for fairness, but we’re not naïve. When people play dirty, we play smart.
